i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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