Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
