wanna go halves on a baby?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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