so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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