I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She needs sedatives and a leash
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
