You're so nebulous sometimes
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
