In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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