If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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