i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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