im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
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Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
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You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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