then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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