i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
