brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
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you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
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Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.