Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.