What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.