That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Dating After Heartbreak
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.