It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.