Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she smelled like a LAN party
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me