Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!