i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
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Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
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I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up