I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
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Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
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Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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