If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
