I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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