Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.