the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.