so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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