omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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