the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Randomize
