I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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