Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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