Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize