Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize