I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
