I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
