Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
