Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Never joke about your clitoris.
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