you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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