i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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