I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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