At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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