He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
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This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
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I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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