I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize