halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
