my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...