I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok