saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"