I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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