I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
