oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
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you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
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of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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