I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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