i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Welp...herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize