omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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