Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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