well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us