I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dating After Heartbreak
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜