he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
seriously i just wanna be friends
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober