So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I intend to get homeless drunk
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.