either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.