I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The dysfunction is strong in this one.