HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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