my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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