Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
