i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
