That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize