I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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